I am a chronically bad dater. Well, that's obvious. If I had a good relationship I would have a blog called: "In a relationship: stereotypical stories of an awesome couple." Instead, I have this, which in fact can be fun. Sometimes, I get down on myself and I say I can't do this anymore. I am just going to quit and face the fact that I am going to be alone forever with my cat. Which wouldn't be much of blog but I guess that one would be called: "Super SINGLE: Stereotypical stories of my awesome cat".
On that note, I guess I will share my latest nugget of bad graces. Moving to a new city is rough. You have a new job, you have to find new hang out spots, find new friends, face new weather, adapt, to sum it up. I have done it rather gracefully here in Austin. I've found some nice hang out spots and have made new friends and have actually actively dated more than any other place I have lived. On that note I have dated some winners (not). The latest was a guy who I thought I had stuff in common just ran for the hills. Like literally FREAKED THE FUCK OUT! I don't mean that lightly. We had pretty amazing dates that were working out and just being an insecure wreck that I am; I found myself asking him a very simple question which then internalized a tangent of other questions. You are probably thinking, what did this demonic girl ask this poor sensitive boy? Well, I asked him this, "what do you think of me?" which he answered with "I like you" without missing a beat which I pondered and asked "In what way.." knowing exactly what he was going to answer but instead I went snowballing a very simple question into something much more which caused a confusing state of awkwardness between me and this guy. Killing any chances of going out with him which sucks because well A. he liked me and B. he was really nice, which is much more than any other guy I have dated in the city.
I think I have put myself in the same situation time and time again, perhaps I am not ready to be in a relationship? Maybe, I put myself in these predicaments because I want to self-sabotage the situation. I'm not saying that I don't like the attention guys normally show me. I am not saying that I don't like going on these dates and getting to know these boys and for them to get to know me a little better. I'm not saying that but first dates are always weird, they're a weird mix of interview/bragging which I can never nail. I can also say this, right now its a time of adjustment. I just moved to this city. These are all silly excuses but if the the right guy walks into my life, I'm not going to ruin it by my sincere insecurities. For now, I'll enjoy the many things Austin has to offer. I am not too worried about the dating scene as it really is easy for me here. Yes, I have a soul and yes, I was a little crushed yesterday when this happened. I do have a lot of emotions and get sad, upset and all girlie from time to time but every time this happens it becomes easier. I know that something better will come and I also know that I will know it in my bones when it comes my way. Every bit of rejection makes me stronger and every guy that runs from something good isn't worth holding on to. The right guy will come when I am least expecting it and will fight and show me that we belong together and not freak the fuck out. On that note, Single and Looking will continue to be the place I post more heinous stories about bad dates, dating advice, and anything else weird.
