You. Yes. You.

My subscription to match is up and the age old questions is to renew or to not renew? I haven't been completely content with the website. I mean I get that its only a database and its more like a facebook for people looking for a relationship. I don't know if I'm interested in getting involved with anyone right now. I am happy being single. Plus my daily 5 suck. I mean I don't think I get 5 different guys everyday and they're not exactly what I am looking for. I don't know what I am looking for right now. Scratch that. I do know what I want but I can't have it. Why wouldn't I want it? Everyone knows. I know. He knows. You know.
I want it back! I want everything back. I want my dancing in the park back. I want my guitar hero. I want late night chatting. I want the comic book store. The endless book stores. I want movies in bed back. I want cuddling back. I want kissing back. I want foot rubs and squeezing back. I want pie, cupcakes, and long walks. I want good cups of coffee and animal crackers. I want hot dogs and music stores back. I don't want to spend everyday on the phone. I don't expect for you to care about every stupid thing that happens to me.
I want it back.
I wish I wasn't on that stupid website or you would have said no to dancing.I wish there had been no 14 hour date and no 16 hour second date. I wish you wouldn't like robots or Molly's or board games. I wish you would have spent more time with me or none at all. I know I am sap. I know this sucks. I know you had to go. I know, I wanted you to. I am happy for you. I am happy for you and I didn't cry when you left. I think I had done enough crying the last few times that I guess I didn't need to when you actually left.
We didn't have the "talk". I didn't want the "talk". The "talk" is stupid. Its completely unnecessary but now when I call I feel its time to have the "talk" and that's all that goes through my mind. I didn't have a proper goodbye. I had a little speech prepared but it was such a weird day with all the stuff that happened that I didn't have time to really register things properly, like the fact you were actually leaving.
*Melt down*
Insert upbeat song (My Sharona)
*Dancing*
We don't need the "talk". I am glad I went on that date. I am glad I was on match. I am glad we got to spend 2 of my favorite months together. I can't wait to see you again. So its not perfect but maybe that's my favorite part of this,the imperfections and the all the possibilities.