Auld Lang Syne

I could say 2010 was a flop, nothing interesting happened but in retrospect one huge thing happened, I started to be me again. I lost sight of who I was for a long time. I know this sounds stupid and perhaps redundant but when you are with someone, in a relationship you start to mold yourself into not two different people but into one "us". This year without any hesitation or problems I didn't have a counterpart. I didn't share my bed, meals, and every waking moment thinking "Oh gosh! when is this gonna end?" because it never started. I had a series of flings, first dates, etc but this was the year that I got to be alone. That I got to work on me. Yes, surprisingly it wasn't that easy. I had a lot to let go. I had to not only let go of that one person who shall remain nameless (Chris) but more importantly a person who I thought had done no damage but truly caused some terrible turmoil in my life (Matt).

2010 taught me a lot. It showed me I didn't have to have a boyfriend to go out and have fancy meals, I could do that with someone that liked food as much as I did. I learned that not every waking minute has to be filled with people that alone time is healthy. I learned the balance of school, work, friendship, and time for myself. I also learned that for the first time since I was 15 I didn't have a crush or had fallen into like and it was normal. More importantly I learned who I was or who I am shaping up to be. Yes, I do fuck up. Yes, I have had my fair share of things this year that I regret but I feel they're all lessons that needed to be learned. I didn't take that job in Park City, Utah but I think the old Ximena would have. I welcome new experiences. I feel I made the right decision with the job that I took and although 2011 seems like a hell of year to come with graduation and perhaps even a promotion I think I will remember 2010 as the year I grew up. The year I let things go. The year I learned who my friends are and maybe I didn't find love this year but I found out a lot of people out there like me. I started writing what was in my heart and to me it was helpful. 2010 you will be missed but not forgotten.