Dear Readers,

I will never understand boys and one would remark, something along the lines of  you haven't met a real man. This is inexcusable because while I'd like to say I am a woman, I still consider myself very much a girl. Plus, its the story of boy meets girl anyway.
 I think men say that they have it difficult to get into the mind set of a woman, I can't seem to wrap my mind around boys, their thoughts, their reasoning behind the things they do. Yes, girls sometimes play the opposite game and we love to talk about our emotions, feelings. We are all wrapped up in this emotional blanket, not all, I am. In that same breath I hate overly emotional guys, guys with PMS tendency and short fuses, its not sexy. I'd like for a man to tell me whats going through his mind the first time we meet and perhaps blunt, not waste my time. I hate playing these rules we've all set up for ourselves, 3 dates, "talking", hooking up. The games we play and the "Oh, I can't talk to you right away", because I'll seem to desperate or even the catching up to be 'polite'.The last time I had a true connection with a guy, not physical, a true emotional bond was high school. When back then I would spend hours on the phone talking to my "best friend" and trying to be more than just a friend. He never saw me that way or he did but he respected me in a way, I haven't been respected in years. We were kids and now we probably wouldn't be friends, too much has happened. There are guys that I'm friends with but something always is in the back of my mind is that men and women cannot just be friends. We do have that sexual attraction and even if we don't want to be involved, something in those relationships always is there. I can't explain it.
Can someone please just give me a straight answer and stop giving me the go-around? If you like me, tell me you like me. If you don't, don't fuck around and just say this isn't going anywhere. I'm okay with it really, I've survived a lot worse. Another thing what is all this bullshit going around of not wanting to be in a relationship, "friends with benefits". Getting your dick wet isn't filling a hole in your emotional destitute. I know you have commitment issues but if you can sign a 2 year contract with a cellphone company you can have a relationship, it is in your DNA.
Yes, this is me going on another rant. Yes, this is me a little pissed off at 'man' kind. Yes, this is me putting another post online that people will probably think I'm more of an emotional wreck. Here it is. I don't get it. I don't understand games, friendships with boys, friends with benefits, relationships, connections, dates, I am completely clueless. 10 years ago I thought I would understand this by now. By now, I'd find the man, boy, male species that would define these things and while I have had some great insight it always makes me more confused, more irritated that I haven't found it. For all of you that have, congrats and hold on, they're rare in between.