I started reading some old posts to get some inspiration for some new ones. The 2 favorites have always been Single and Looking...Just Single and Welcome To The Dark Side. I have often found these to be my security blankets of this blog. They speak volumes of what I've been through in the last several years without sounding like an overplayed record. Yes, drunk debauchery and lots of single dates that went nowhere. I still write about the same things which brings me to the conclusion that perhaps I haven't changed very much in the last few years and I am stuck in this rut because I refuse to change. I continue to face the situations much like a crazy person trying the same thing time and time again expecting different results. The girl who wrote those two posts was very clear, concise and optimistic.
In Single and Looking..Just Single, I write about not finding Prince Charming because he probably wears too much cologne but maybe I should be thinking about how I need to be less pushy, less available and more willing to date outside my normal "type" which is obviously not Prince Charming because I've never really been into clean cut types but more artistic fellows, someone rough around the edges who I can clean up if the time is right, and what is this DIY project fascination with guys, at this point I should be installing window treatments, not fixing a guys. This is the reason I am perhaps single and another thing I keep dating these guys who are completely unavailable and I don't mean they're married but they're emotionally unavailable. I keep dating guys who I assume one day will wake up and say "Oh, I am ready to be in a committed relationship" instead of dating guys who are already there. There are guys out there that think, "Hey, I really want a girlfriend." Those are the guys I should be dating, those are the guys, I should be seeking but no, of course not I like the ones that are the "challenge" and that's just the reason I am still here writing this blog and sitting at home shaking my fist at the world (couples, mainly). Have I become a little cynical? Yes. Everyday that passes and get closer to being a spinster, do I get a little sad? Yes. Will I give up on my quest to find the guy who finds this and I mean all of this attractive and doesn't go running for the hills? Probably not but for now I am glad I don't believe I am in self-sabotage mode. I know I probably have a few more years of heartache and maybe then I'll throw in the towel and go into spinsterhood but until then let the dating games begin, and may the odds be in my favor (damn,statistics).
An update on my 30 challenge is upon us.
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