A Little Explanation

I feel I need to apologize to some of the guys I've called scum in some of my posts. They're not scum, some of their actions, some of their decisions and the way they handled things might be scum but they're not scum. I can say that my decision making was probably poor too. I was probably making rash decisions on things that I wasn't sure of, I think that's what love is sometimes. You get a little blinded by that feeling of lust and something new that you forget all the principles. Then after the relationship is over you focus on all the things that weren't right and you start calling people "scum" or "assholes", when really they probably should be called realist. They realized that the relationship was going nowhere or it wasn't the right time or maybe there was someone else. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I spend a lot of time looking for answers or giving advice and maybe I shouldn't because I don't have my stuff in great shape. One day I'm fantasizing about some guy that is reading the right book at a coffee shop coming over and discussing indie bands and us falling in love and having hipster kids. The next day I'm still trying to shake off the feeling that I can't listen to that Elvis Costello song because it still reminds me of a great time in my life. I've had a lot of people tell me I'm not over some of my relationships but I guess you are never really over people you love. Some of which I can't stop talking to because they're a better friend than they ever were a boyfriend and some that slowly but surely have disappeared when I don't want them to. I guess this blog has become a therapeutic outlet for me. It helps me show my sadness, callousness, and the growth of my emotional stability. The guys in my life weren't horrible people, if anything they were great part of who I am shaping up to be. If it weren't for them I perhaps would never be so ambitious or carefree but I guess I hate sounding like a sap all the time. I want to make sure people understand this blog has no resonance of longing to old relationships, the reason that this blog exists is because of things that happened and what I've learned from them and if that's advice that might help, I'm glad.