Todays topic:"Once a cheater, always a cheater." What a wonderful phrase uttered by friends, frienemies and all alike. Is this phrase true? Is this something that holds true like a law of physics, whatever must come up must come down. Are we suppose to say that those that have cheated in the past will have the tendency to cheat more often because they were prone to cheating before? Or is those that have been scorned by cheaters are the ones that will somehow seek some karmic revenge? I'm not sure, I hate to say that because if someone cheats they deserve that title. Its if like none of us have never taken something from a store before and thus now we're criminals or kleptomaniacs? Or is cheating one of those things you do in a relationship for perhaps selfish reasons? I guess what holds true is that "cheaters" are those who don't think about consequences. Most cheating is sporadic, not planned, or calculated, instinctual not manipulative. I myself have been both a victim of cheating and also a perpetrator of the act. The reason behind me cheating had nothing to do with hurting someone else and it was to satisfy the needs of no one but myself. Did I feel guilty? Yes. Did I feel I needed to somehow be ashamed of what I had done? Yes. Did I want to do it again? Yes. Did I get a rush? Yes. Would I do it again? No. The reason I say no, is I know how it feels to be the other person in this. The third person in a love triangle and I would never want to do that to someone else.
I think people that are notorious cheaters are people that are afraid of commitment. They love the hunt. They love the thrill of not knowing what's next but are comfortable with the idea of always having someone there. I don't believe cheaters truly exists I believe there are people that make mistakes that get caught in the moment and act on intuition. We're all stuck on this idea of soul mates of finding the perfect match, of finding that person who you will be with thick and thin. What if they don't exist? What if you think this is the "one" and then all of sudden you're sitting at a coffee shop and you realize "I was wrong all along". She/He is not the one, I actually am in love with So and So or I think I am? Lately, I've stopped believing in the soul mates theory. I stopped hoping to meet that one guy that "gets me". There's a series of people that "get me". Does that mean that because you "get me" I have to share my bed, bank account, eat dinner with you for the rest of my life because you of all people "get me"?
I am by no means condoning cheating. I think its a horrible act very high on the list of things I hate that include: liars (which consequently need to have burning pants), cheaters, and of course Taylor Swift, the Jonas Brothers, and Hitler (those of course are in no particular order). I just think that couples, Hollywood, and society as we know it, has started to focus on perfection of everything including monogamy and its perfect relationship status. People don't mean to do a lot of things like drink and drive but it happens and cheating is just one of those things that happens. People make mistakes and its what you do after those mistakes that makes you who you are not the mistake itself. So once a cheater, hopefully not always a cheater.
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