Chopsticks

It has come to my attention that some of my readers think I'm still pining away at my old relationships. That I am somehow sitting at home, eating pints of Ben and Jerry's, and crying myself deeply to sleep while listening to Celine Dion (and then blog about it). As much as I should have been doing that I take a more proactive approach to self destruction that does not include the latter. I'd much rather look really hot and go out to bar to get hit on by strangers than cry myself to sleep. I have taken it upon myself to drink and go out a lot but to be honest it still takes a whole lot of you to do this when you're feeling miserable.

Anyway this blog isn't about breaking up and how to deal with it. Its about relationships as a whole. Which comes to my next point: Chopsticks.

Chopsticks.

It always seems to be the case that when you are falling out of love your friends seem to be falling in it. Which makes you feel in one word, lonely. You look all around you and they're holding hands, they have pet names for one another, and you're thinking gag the only thing crossing my mind right now is how not to kick that puppy or make that baby cry. Then your doe eyed friend looks at you and says "You'll get better, why don't you focus on all the great little things that make a relationship". So instead of saying "No!" I'd rather go and stick my head in the oven Sylvia Plath style, I thought back at all the things in my life that made me say, "yes, this is why I really liked you."

Which brings us to chopsticks. Believe me I've had really decent guys in my life. I've had really nice presents and cute cards and amazing dinners but I'm not materialistic. So while the presents and dinners are nice touches, little things mean so much more to me. My freshman year of college I lived with my first roommate Anastasia and even though we had a little in common I thought we had a really great living situation so it was odd that one day she just decided to move out. I was a little torn but I had too much going on to really think about it. So when I realized all the cookware was hers and she had taken all the silverware I resorted to using chopsticks from Panda Express. I ate everything with them and I got to be very skilled with a set of chopsticks. Once my neighbor, then pal, and not yet ex boyfriend found me eating with chopsticks he brought me a set of silverware so I could at least eat my cereal with a spoon but later that evening he knocked on my door and brought me a set of plastic reusable chopsticks from Chinatown. I can say some terrible things about him and I think I have mentioned a few on this particular blog. I know we had our ups and downs and we're not exactly friends right but when people ask me why I dated him, I always end it with chopsticks.

* Again I am not pining away at old feelings. Looking back and remembering good stuff isn't a horrible thing. Yes, I'm going to say it, its part of the process. I have come to the state of mind that I can remember great memories and not feel like I need to dive myself into a gin and tonic. I have reached the point that I'm okay at remembering the good, the bad and the ugly because its all part of the relationship process. I'm okay, really. *