I guess as trivial as this may sound I kind of wanted to start giving advice to those all out there looking for love. I'm no expert maybe as time progresses I'll get better at this but maybe some of my social commentary will make you not feel alone in the universe.
Breaking up
I think that's the problem these days when you first break up with your significant other you can't see past hindsight. I know its difficult and everyone around you is saying things like "you're better without him", "you'll find someone else", "just give it time". And in your distraught mind frame these words of cliche encouragement are things you'd rather not hear. I'm not going to sit here and tell you man its easy to break up with someone being the dumper or the dumpee. Its just not. You miss the person you were with as torturous as the relationship was and your hindsight is probably the end of a bottle or it is for me.
Look I've been the girl that was so horribly depressed I went out and I bought self help books and when I'm down in the dumps I look over at my bookshelf and realize I am no longer that girl in the middle of Borders holding on to her last bit of dignity buying a self help book. At this time I will tell you, you are going to be your own worst enemy believe me there's a handful of very poppy country songs to back me up on this one. For one please don't key anyones car (Thanks Carrie for singing about sweet revenge) and two this is actually kind of funny I'll say this but be careful with the alcohol (I Need You Now Lady Antebellum told us a little something about drunk dialing) just for heads up and three its ok to feel miserable.
Yes that's right ladies and gentlemen I am encouraging, urging you to not feed yourself lies. NO "I'll be better" pep talks to yourself. Not yet anyway, its ok to cry. Its ok to take a little time off from being your cheery self and feel a little down. If this relationship meant something it will hurt and it will hurt for some time. And as much I encourage self destructive behavior at this point I'd like to say many gin and tonics, wine, beer etc. have made me realize that was just an empty road going nowhere. It does however relieve some kind of pain at times but mostly makes you feel miserable the next day.
I hate the books or people that tell you to go jogging or find an activity. You're activities at this point should be to sit at home and wallow. Wallow and once you get over the wallowing, realize what you did before you were with this person. Remember that you liked to watch Dancing with the Stars on Mondays instead of Monday Night Football. That instead of buying tickets to a baseball game you can now get pedicures. Remember you have friends that love hanging out with you and just you. Remember you're good at things like baking, writing, riding a bike, photography, etc. and sooner or later you realize that yeah it was painful at first but now that you have learned more about yourself you don't know why you were with that person to begin with.
I know this is cliche and it may come as a no brainer but remember that you're friends are there for a reason. They will be there during the good, the bad, the ugly. Have them listen to you because there will come a time sooner or later you'll have the roles switched and you can repay the favor.
I guess this me returning the favor.
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